The accomplishments of the last 12 and 1/2 years...

Well, this is the very beginning!  Where to start?  I'll start by telling you that I am first and foremost using this blog as a place to hold the stories and ideas that come up in my day to day life with two sweet sons and lots of funny kids that I have the privilege of working with every day.  

Below I'm attaching an email that I sent to some family about a month ago. It is a TRUE story.  I'm not kidding!  I'm not good enough to make this stuff up!  Feel free to laugh.  And don't take it all too seriously, ya'll. I'm sharing for the joy, not for the worry.  

Here's a summary of what I've accomplished during the last 12 and 1/2 years of parenting:

Hello!  I hope you all are doing well.  We have recovered from vacation and are prepping for Steve to have a business meeting here in the house next week.  AAAGH! 

This morning was nice.  Steve worked in his office.  They boys played upstairs.  I worked on a lesson for my class, and I started thinking about something.......  We all sat down to lunch, and I just had to ask, "Drew and Eli, do you know what the Ten Commandments are?"

They both look at me, and Steve says, "Don't lie!"  (He was starting his list of commandments, I think.  That, or he was admonishing the boys.  Not sure...)

So, I said, "No.  You don't have to list them.  Just tell me.  What are they about?  Why are they important?"

Eli says, "Doesn't it have something to do with the black people war and that President, um, Lincoln?"

"You mean the Civil War?"

"Yeah.  The Civil War."  Eli smiles.

"No," I said.

Drew just looks me dead in the face and says, (and I quote) "I don't know anything about it because nobody ever told me."

I just about came out of my seat!  Then, I retorted, "Nobody ever TOLD you?!?  How many times did we read and reread that children's Bible when you were little?  How many times have you gone to Church?"  Then, Steve and I told them (AGAIN) about the 10 Commandments.  Luckily, Eli had, at some point heard of the burning bush.  The story meandered and wondered, as every historical story in our house does.  Why do the stories meander?  Because both boys ask arbitrary (yet interesting) questions, and we wind up telling a lot more than what we meant to tell,off on a tangent somewhere.  We talked about Moses and his temper; manna in the wilderness; why God didn't just talk to Moses...wasn't God everywhere, not just in a burning bush; and we all decided that we should practice our table manners since we are going to have a house full of guests next week.

Then, we went to karate class.  On the way home, there was a GIANT rainbow.  We talked about the fact that the rainbow looked like it ended at our house!  Yay!  Then, I remembered the lunch discussion.  So, I ventured,  "Why are there rainbows?"   

Steve said, "It's light refracting through a prism."

I said, "NO!"

I was about to explain that I meant why did God make rainbows, but Steve retorted, "Yes it is!  It's science!  Didn't you ever learn that?!"

Okay.  So, I explained what I meant, and Eli said, "Um, it was God's promise that he wouldn't flood the earth again?"

"Yes!" I said.  Relief.  They have learned SOMETHING.  "Do you all know who Noah was?"

Drew said that he did know, "Didn't he have the ark?  And then there was a movie about him and he was a US Senator?"  (Evan Almighty-the movie is what he meant)

We Ashley's are geniuses, I tell ya.

Now, we get home, cook dinner, and sit down at the table.  My plans for Bible lessons are over for today.  But, that doesn't matter because Drew and Eli are not done!

The boys were eating politely, using their manners, and making me feel like I have accomplished something as a parent.  Then, Eli announced that he ate 4 of the 8 dinner rolls, and Drew felt a little sad, since he'd only gotten one.  I explained to Eli that he needed to ask others if they would like the last item on the table before taking it.  He apologized.

Then, Drew said, "I knew that, because I taught myself manners when I was 10 years old."

I just grinned at Steve.  "Wonder where we were?"  He laughed.

Yet another thing I didn't teach my kids.  I guess I'm just lucky Drew decided to teach himself.

Then, somehow, we were talking about Commandments again.  Eli said, "Which Commandment is the most important?"

I said, "Well, which do you think Jesus said was most important?"  I thought this would be a great lesson.....when am I going to learn?

Steve said, "Well, while he was riding his unicorn over the rainbow, he got mad because people in the temple didn't know which commandment was most important, and threw over a bunch of tables and stuff."

Drew said, "Really?"

Eli said, "Really, Jesus had a unicorn?"  (This is true.  I'm not making it up!)

I said, laughing, "Don't say that!  They don't know the Truth, and they will tell people that Jesus had a unicorn!"

He said, "Okay.  You're right.  They'll say, 'Uh-huh.  My Dad SAID Jesus had a unicorn!"     Oh, my!  This is real.

Then, Eli said something about a fool, and Steve said, "That's a commandment,.  Don't call people fool.  Actually, I think that's in Isaiah.  It's not a commandment."

Eli said, "There's a verse in Isaiah about an eagle and being strong..."    At this point, I start to think that I have done SOMETHING right!  That is my all time favorite verse.  It hung on our refrigerator for 9 years, until the day we moved out of our old house!  Hooray!  Then, Eli continues, "I saw it on a picture that Kyoshi has at the Dojo."  He grins triumphantly.  So proud.

I said, "Yep.  And it also hung on the refrigerator at our old house for most of your life."

Steve hooted with laughter.  Drew giggled.  Eli grinned, and said, "Oh, I didn't know that!"  Oh, my.....

What have I done these last 12 and a half years, really?

I am now a shell of the woman I was.  Today has changed me profoundly, but I'm not sure what any of it means.  I think I will wait on the Lord to renew my strength. I am not sure that I have any strength left!

So, there you have it.  My parenting prowess. Judge if you must, but no worries, because it will always be a sunny great day!